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The one about a Mechanic and a Cardiologist...


New member
27 Oct 2012
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Porsche 911 when he spotted a regular customer in service reception who was a very successful cardiologist.

The cardiologist was waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the
garage, "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?"

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working . The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and said, "So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and when I had finished, it worked just like new.

So how is it that I make £20,000 a year and you make £250,000 a year when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic.....

"Try doing it with the engine running." :)
:floor: very good....
Reminds me of the one of the gynecologist and the mechanic.

A gynecologist was getting sick of his job and decided that he needed a career change. He'd always enjoyed tinkering with engines so thought he'd become a mechanic. So he went along to mechanics school and the final test was to strip the engine completely and reassemble it back into perfect working order. So our gynecologist friend did the test and anxiously awaited his results. The day he received the results, he got quite a surprise -- he got 150%. He quickly 'phoned the instructor and asked about the high mark. The instructor said, "No, that's right. First, I gave you 50% for stripping down the engine -- a very thorough job. Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it -- a fantastic job really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe."
Inlet manifold shirley?
He was a proctologist.

Cardiologists make around a mill a year.

A guy goes to the docs, and takes his wife, who's a bit confused, for treatment.
In the surgery, the doctor says,
"Okay Mrs Smith, can you wait outside for a moment"
And with the Husband there, he continues
"Well its a broad diagnosis, but your wifes either got advanced senile dementia, or HIV"
The guy looks in horror, and asks "That is a broad diagnosis, what happens next?"
The doc continues, " Well, early on Sunday morning, about 5:30 am, take her out into the very middle of Epping Forest. Blindfold her before you leave. When you've got her into the very middle of the Forest, sopin her round and around three times, then run off and leave her there"
The guy then asks " Then what?"
"Well" say the doc, " If she makes it home don't f ck her"
stuttgartmetal said:
Inlet manifold shirley?
He was a proctologist.

Cardiologists make around a mill a year.

Shirley you can't be serious :floor:

A young couple were making passionate love in the guy's van when suddenly the girl, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out, "Oh big boy, whip me, whip me!"
The guy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips to hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip the girl until they both collapse in sado-masochistic ecstasy.
About a week later, the girl notices that the marks left by the whipping session are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor.
The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks, "Did you get these marks having sex?" The girl is a little embarrassed but admits that, yes, she did.
Nodding his head knowingly the doctor exclaims, "I thought so, because in all my years of doctoring... You've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen."

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