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Joined: 08 Feb 2008
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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 9:34 pm    Post subject: Dream lady auctions road trip in Porsche and herself... Reply with quote

Well now, chaps, this is a tempting offer. A woman is auctioning herself and a roadtrip from the UK to LeMans in her 2009 Porsche 911 Carrera 4S. Don't all run to the phones at once. At least read it first.

"Damsel in Distress Seeks Driver for Le Mans Adventure"

That's how she begins. Here's more.

Quote:
You have the rare opportunity to bid on a once in a life time adventure, one that hopefully will remain an unforgettable experience for all of the right reasons!

You may be crazy, mad, adventurous, or simply normal (but reckon you are not the latter if you've made it this far and are still reading on.....)


Oh, we're all that in spades, sister. Still reading.

Quote:
This auction prize is not simply about a car, but about A Woman and A Car. A woman who is selling the opportunity to accompany her on a 4 night 5 day adventure (9 - 13 June 2011) on a Le Mans Tour in her 2009 Porsche 911 Carrera 4S.


You're a woman who's into motorsports? You own a Porsche and you can give us details about it other than the color? Hang on while I make a mad grab for the smelling salts. Too late. Mr. Forehead, meet Mr. Linoleum.

Quote:
A woman who many would say easily earns the adjectives attributable to any suitable bidder of this auction (see above).


Wait, what? What does that mean, "adjectives attributable"? Is that a disclaimer? Do I need to have a lawyer look this over?

Quote:
The journey begins on Thursday morning with an early departure from Folkestone, UK to Calais, France via Eurotunnel. At Calais you, the Damsel and 25 other cars will form a convoy driving all day (with leisurely lunch break) to arrive at your magnificent hotel in the Loire Valley. Spending a chill out day on Friday you will explore the Loire valley in convoy visiting nearby Chateaux, French markets with (of course) lunch followed by trip to local Wine Caves. Formal evening dinner at Hotel with your party.


Hold the phone! A tour group? That sounds very Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice to me, madame. Next thing, you'll be tossing the Porsche's key fob into a punchbowl and I'll end up on a pillow-covered floor with Ms. Drunken McPerimenopause of Hampstead.

Quote:
More excitement afoot on Saturday departing by coach for Le Mans circuit where you will take in the pre race atmosphere on your picnic blanket enjoying a fabulous al fresco lunch.


Ok, we're back. Pre-race lunch. Lunch is good. Racing is good. Blankets and racing and lunch. Sold.

Quote:
You soon realise that lunch was simply the appetiser...


Right here? In front of all these people?

Quote:
...as the main course is served up later that afternoon. You and the Damsel will climb aboard a waiting Helicopter for a unique flight around the circuit during the race! Once your heart has stopped racing you will be taken to view night-time racing at Arnage and Indianapolis.


Oh, ok. Yes, you had me at helicopter. And then you had me again at Arnage and Indianapolis.

Quote:
A lovely, satisfyingly full day with coach trip back to the Hotel when its all over.


Wait, no! Coach back to the hotel? This is LeMans, babe. I plan to sleep in the dirt in a pool of vodka-infused-champagne shooters with puke in my beard. And I don't even HAVE a beard.

Quote:
Sunday is as Sunday should be........Whatever you two choose.......Decisions, Decisions!!!.... Drive convoy style through the Loire Valley with a visit to Chateau Chambord? Return by coach to Le Sarthe Circuit to view the final stages of the race perhaps? Or maybe at this stage of the trip you will simply prefer to create your own adventures as you and The Damsel choose to have a Day at Your Leisure.
Whatever you decide, you can look forward to a wonderful, private dinner back at the Hotel on your last night in the Loire. On Monday morning you will enjoy a leisurely breakfast followed by convoy drive through the valley to return to Calais for an evening Eurotunnel return to Folkestone. Big smiles all around complete the picture.


Right here? In front of all these people?

...as the main course is served up later that afternoon. You and the Damsel will climb aboard a waiting Helicopter for a unique flight around the circuit during the race! Once your heart has stopped racing you will be taken to view night-time racing at Arnage and Indianapolis.

Oh, ok. Yes, you had me at helicopter. And then you had me again at Arnage and Indianapolis.

A lovely, satisfyingly full day with coach trip back to the Hotel when its all over.

Wait, no! Coach back to the hotel? This is LeMans, babe. I plan to sleep in the dirt in a pool of vodka-infused-champagne shooters with puke in my beard. And I don't even HAVE a beard.

Quote:
Sunday is as Sunday should be........Whatever you two choose.......Decisions, Decisions!!!.... Drive convoy style through the Loire Valley with a visit to Chateau Chambord? Return by coach to Le Sarthe Circuit to view the final stages of the race perhaps? Or maybe at this stage of the trip you will simply prefer to create your own adventures as you and The Damsel choose to have a Day at Your Leisure.
Whatever you decide, you can look forward to a wonderful, private dinner back at the Hotel on your last night in the Loire. On Monday morning you will enjoy a leisurely breakfast followed by convoy drive through the valley to return to Calais for an evening Eurotunnel return to Folkestone. Big smiles all around complete the picture.


Read more on eBay, where you can bid on the affections of your motoring dream date, or a very savvy travel agent. Decide for yourself. [UPDATE: Oops, it's been removed. Here's a screenshot.]

Click to enlarge = Dream lady auctions road trip in Porsche and herself...



http://jalopnik.com
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PeterS
Fuji


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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 10:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Its removed because I chose the "buy it now" option!

See you all if I get back!
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wizard993
Donnington
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Joined: 23 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 10:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

...don't know who would be/is the most desperate:

The bidder(s)/winner!

or

The "dream lady"

Why does she not just take a friend and get a couple of guys back to the room(s) when they get there?

Maybe she can't work the sat-nav perhaps?

I am sure some mad axemen/stalkers will be getting the hots over this one.

Wonder what the reserve is......her husband perhaps? Laughing
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PeterS
Fuji


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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 11:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

wizard993 wrote:
...don't know who would be/is the most desperate:



The person who was searching for such a thing on Ebay and came across it????

Very Happy
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apw2007
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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 11:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What, no guarantee of a 'happy ending' (unlike my local massuese) Dont know
 
  
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Daniel
Donnington
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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 12:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

apw2007 wrote:
What, no guarantee of a 'happy ending' (unlike my local massuese) Dont know


Hand

I have told you we don't speak to Dave anymore.. He has left the world of Porsche.

Grin
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apw2007
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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 12:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Daniel wrote:
apw2007 wrote:
What, no guarantee of a 'happy ending' (unlike my local massuese) Dont know


Hand

I have told you we don't speak to Dave anymore.. He has left the world of Porsche.

Grin


Floor

The doorbell rang and look who was on the doorstep! Surprised
 



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markomate
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Joined: 13 Jan 2008
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1996 Porsche 993 Targa

PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 12:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Hold the phone! A tour group? That sounds very Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice to me, madame. Next thing, you'll be tossing the Porsche's key fob into a punchbowl and I'll end up on a pillow-covered floor with Ms. Drunken McPerimenopause of Hampstead"

Floor

The guys in my office are now looking at me laughing my arse off!
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wizard993
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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 12:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

markomate wrote:
"Hold the phone! A tour group? That sounds very Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice to me, madame. Next thing, you'll be tossing the Porsche's key fob into a punchbowl and I'll end up on a pillow-covered floor with Ms. Drunken McPerimenopause of Hampstead"

Floor

The guys in my office are now looking at me laughing my arse off!


....lol if she took severe PMS during the tour the winning bidder could end-up being buried in a shallow grave near the racetrack(after being chopped up) for not paying COD/not being able to read a map or park properly.

Do Porsche offer a fold-away shovel on the options list for 997's?
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Zingari
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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 4:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've asked her to take a picture of herself holding up a copy of today's paper for proof of ID. Thumb

If she holds up the Cahulawassee Times and claims to playing a banjo I'm outta here Dont know
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Kevinuk
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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 7:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I dated a girl when I lived in the States whose sister advertised her Florida house on eBay for 500k usd...the hook was that she came with the house!

She became a tv star overnight !

http://www.zimbio.com/Deven+Trabosh
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tim993
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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 7:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kevinuk wrote:
I dated a girl when I lived in the States whose sister advertised her Florida house on eBay for 500k usd...the hook was that she came with the house!

She became a tv star overnight !

http://www.zimbio.com/Deven+Trabosh


One can only presume that the house on its own would have been marketed at a much higher price. Unless I've misunderstood which was the difficult to 'place' commodity here???

Last edited by tim993 on Tue May 31, 2011 9:28 pm; edited 1 time in total
 
  
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unclefish
Barcelona


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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 8:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The women is a minger, and is clearly trying to hide it by wearing a hat, sunglasses and sitting in a hot tub.
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Kevinuk
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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 8:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

unclefish wrote:
The women is a minger, and is clearly trying to hide it by wearing a hat, sunglasses and sitting in a hot tub.


This was 10 years after I knew the sister but yes mutton comes to mind. I understand that the house did not sell but she had some "movie" offers Question and thousands of hits on google, lots of comments the majority none too complimentary !
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Zingari
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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 9:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Found her chums taking the coach Dont know


Open Youtube Page

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garyc4s
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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 9:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zingari.

Thats just like our Midlands meet Drinkers
 
  
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bently300
Hockenheim


Joined: 20 Jul 2010
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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 10:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

garyc4s wrote:
Zingari.

Thats just like our Midlands meet Drinkers


Hand Hand Hand
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Zingari
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 5:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

garyc4s wrote:
Zingari.

Thats just like our Midlands meet Drinkers


Gary - I thought this was the Midlands meet Dont know

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PeterS
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 5:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No, they're all too young!

(although to be fair, we are a youngish crowd)
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Nick_MSM
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 19, 2011 2:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Looks like a 56 plate to me, after the trip I'd be doing a PayPal charge back for false info Laughing
 
  
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