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Why so much crap?

RXP.

Well-known member
Joined
24 Oct 2017
Messages
248
Picture the scene,

Walk out of the front door this morning 5am, in the process of making mental notes for things to do today.

So I turn to the 997 to give a quick admiring glance before i jump in Merc. I freeze.

Its covered in bird poop and not talking the milky white stuff which goes away with rain. Im talking full blown warheads!

I begin counting and give up after 9. Then I turn to the others cars on the drive expecting to see a partially recoverable wreckage.

But..... nothing. not even a single hit. Not even splash back from the 911 bombing, nothing on the floor. We are not talking small cars either a c class and an XJ. Both completely immaculate.

I slowly turn back to the 997 to soak in the carnage one more time. It seems like a targeted hit, a precision operation carried out by some rogue elite pigeon seal team, probably hired by some rich farmer pigeons to enact some kind of revenge or something and Im just caught up in some case of mistaken identity.

who knows.....
 
:floor: :floor: what colour is it mate and what colour are the other two cars . we established some time ago that certain of gods creatures like some colours and others like different colours , eg Speed Yellow attracts bugs more than any other colour , birds seem to like blue and dark colours except seagulls who have a pref for silver cars . its all very technical in the animal kingdoms crapping preferences . I have found Elephants like Aqua blue or at least thats what it looks like :grin: :grin: :grin: :thumb:
 
Colour plays a major part in it. As do mirrors. Sounds like they were out on one of Phil's curry nights though.
 
haha,

the 997 is black others, black and Silver.

I have never known anything like it. Never happened to previous cars.

considering a cover now, but even then that would have its own issues regarding washing etc.
 
try this stuff "Poorboys bird sh@t remover" or " Supagard bird lime netraliser " you spray it on the crap it foams up and you can just wipe it gently off no scrubing or scratching the paint . :thumb: reduces the risk of acid burn on the laquer from the bird crap . :thumb:
 
RXP. said:
haha,

the 997 is black others, black and Silver.

I have never known anything like it. Never happened to previous cars.

considering a cover now, but even then that would have its own issues regarding washing etc.

if you do buy a cover also get a soft indoor cover to put on first as the outdoor covers can rub the paint on a blowy day. :thumb:
 
I have been using megs detailer spray to remove the bird poop. The lime stuff looks pretty decent. Thanks for the heads up.
 
Odd. What have you done to deserve this?

I have a strange mark on the front bumper, a sort of pitted scavenged rough area. It took me ages to work it out, but finally by a process of elimination and interrogation, it seems to be where the local outdoor tomcats decided to 'mark' (i.e. have a slash on) my car back when we lived in Dubai. It doesn't polish out (it's far too deep for that) and I suppose it'll need to be sanded back, filled in and repainted.

What have those cats been drinking? Sulphuric acid? :dont know: :thumbdown:
 
RXP. said:
Picture the scene,

Walk out of the front door this morning 5am, in the process of making mental notes for things to do today.

So I turn to the 997 to give a quick admiring glance before i jump in Merc. I freeze.

Its covered in bird poop and not talking the milky white stuff which goes away with rain. Im talking full blown warheads!

I begin counting and give up after 9. Then I turn to the others cars on the drive expecting to see a partially recoverable wreckage.

But..... nothing. not even a single hit. Not even splash back from the 911 bombing, nothing on the floor. We are not talking small cars either a c class and an XJ. Both completely immaculate.

I slowly turn back to the 997 to soak in the carnage one more time. It seems like a targeted hit, a precision operation carried out by some rogue elite pigeon seal team, probably hired by some rich farmer pigeons to enact some kind of revenge or something and Im just caught up in some case of mistaken identity.

who knows.....

I feel your pain......left my car on the quayside at Peterhead for 30 min to come back and find two seagulls 'roosting' on the hot black roof - there was ***** everywhere - managed to grab one by the wing which was counter productive as it ***** everywhere......needless to say I no longer take my car to the port.

I don't live anywhere near Peterhead and even the local jet ash didn't remove the stuff - had to buy a bucket, mitt and shampoo from Halfords to remove it quickly - I swear it was visibly eating through the clear coat!
 
MaxA said:
Odd. What have you done to deserve this?

I have a strange mark on the front bumper, a sort of pitted scavenged rough area. It took me ages to work it out, but finally by a process of elimination and interrogation, it seems to be where the local outdoor tomcats decided to 'mark' (i.e. have a slash on) my car back when we lived in Dubai. It doesn't polish out (it's far too deep for that) and I suppose it'll need to be sanded back, filled in and repainted.

What have those cats been drinking? Sulphuric acid? :dont know: :thumbdown:

:floor: :floor: I had a short period where a cat was doing similar to mine and was leaving small scratch marks as well on the bumper. so I sprayed the front end with cat repelant after every wash, seemed to do the trick and the cat stopped ,now I dont need to do it anymore as the cat has clearly found somewhere else to do it. :grin: :thumb:
 
Phil 997 said:
MaxA said:
Odd. What have you done to deserve this?

I have a strange mark on the front bumper, a sort of pitted scavenged rough area. It took me ages to work it out, but finally by a process of elimination and interrogation, it seems to be where the local outdoor tomcats decided to 'mark' (i.e. have a slash on) my car back when we lived in Dubai. It doesn't polish out (it's far too deep for that) and I suppose it'll need to be sanded back, filled in and repainted.

What have those cats been drinking? Sulphuric acid? :dont know: :thumbdown:

:floor: :floor: I had a short period where a cat was doing similar to mine and was leaving small scratch marks as well on the bumper. so I sprayed the front end with cat repelant after every wash, seemed to do the trick and the cat stopped ,now I dont need to do it anymore as the cat has clearly found somewhere else to do it. :grin: :thumb:

If only I had known at the time... I thought the cat's main job was to catch rats, not piss all over the bumper.
 
Consider yourself lucky. I lived in a complex and one of the tenants had 40 cats in her flat. She also fed all the cats in the area, even going so far as leaving her windows down and placing food and water on her seats and under her car when the landlord spoke to her. I had a convertible which I had to cover with a car cover each time after I drove it. The cats liked the soft fabric cover more than the soft roof. Even that didn't work so I had to cover it in spikes as well. I tried everything possible including cucumbers and every liquid and pepper etc... I either had to move or change my car. No other car was affected and there were about thirty cars in the basement. The car went.
 
MaxA said:
Phil 997 said:
MaxA said:
Odd. What have you done to deserve this?

I have a strange mark on the front bumper, a sort of pitted scavenged rough area. It took me ages to work it out, but finally by a process of elimination and interrogation, it seems to be where the local outdoor tomcats decided to 'mark' (i.e. have a slash on) my car back when we lived in Dubai. It doesn't polish out (it's far too deep for that) and I suppose it'll need to be sanded back, filled in and repainted.

What have those cats been drinking? Sulphuric acid? :dont know: :thumbdown:

:floor: :floor: I had a short period where a cat was doing similar to mine and was leaving small scratch marks as well on the bumper. so I sprayed the front end with cat repelant after every wash, seemed to do the trick and the cat stopped ,now I dont need to do it anymore as the cat has clearly found somewhere else to do it. :grin: :thumb:

If only I had known at the time... I thought the cat's main job was to catch rats, not piss all over the bumper.

The has to be a joke in there somewhere about changing the cat to 200cell :grin:
 
msaif996 said:
Consider yourself lucky. I lived in a complex and one of the tenants had 40 cats in her flat. She also fed all the cats in the area, even going so far as leaving her windows down and placing food and water on her seats and under her car when the landlord spoke to her. I had a convertible which I had to cover with a car cover each time after I drove it. The cats liked the soft fabric cover more than the soft roof. Even that didn't work so I had to cover it in spikes as well. I tried everything possible including cucumbers and every liquid and pepper etc... I either had to move or change my car. No other car was affected and there were about thirty cars in the basement. The car went.

Wow. Now that's something to get annoyed about. Maybe one of the tomcats wazzed on your convertible and all the other cats just wanted to be close to the aroma.

But what do cucumbers do to cats?

PS Phil, presumably you want to say something like it's better about going catless?
 
supposedly birds like to crap into water ... which is why shiney clean cars get crapped on more than dirty ones as birds think shiney paint is water ........ not sure on the truth of these mind :D
 

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