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Kinky Sex

joehog

New member
Joined
9 Dec 2008
Messages
5
Fred and Fiona were making passionate love in Fred's Transit van when suddenly Fiona ( being a bit on the kinky side) yells out: "Oh, fat boy, whip me, whip me!"

Fred, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips to hand, but in a flash of inspiration, opened the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Fiona until they both collapse in sado-masochistic ecstasy.

About a week later, Fiona notices that the marks left by the whipping session are not healing and starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor.

The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks: "Did you get these marks having sex?"

Fiona a little too embarrassed that she had even slept with Fred let alone allowed him to indulge in her own kinky desires, eventually admits that, "Yes, I did."

Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims: "I thought so, because in all my years as a doctor, you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen."
 
That was quite funny ............ when I first heard it 40 years ago.

:nooo:
 
joehog said:
Sorry, wasn't around then.....

Venereal disease (VD) jokes were the precursor to yesterday's AIDS jokes. Not sure what the current sexually transmitted infection jokes are homing in on these days!
 
:grin:
I've actually never heard that.

I'll add some -

2 monkeys in the bath. The first monkey goes 'Ooh Ooh Ooh, aah aah Ooh".
The second monkey says 'If it's too hot mate, just put some cold in".

I've just found out cockfighting is done with chickens. That's 12 months of training wasted.

One for the ladies -
Me : What's the difference between a penis and a chicken drumstick?
Her: I don't know.
Me : Wanna come on a picnic?

I also use this one on my wife as she's 3 years older than me.
'You're so old, when you were young the Dead sea was only ill".


Apologies in advance. :D
 
: :thumb:
 
My son from being about 5 had invented this bizarre obvious observational joke which went along these lines, this was usually performed with an audience of around 15 - 20 mums at a kids birthday party or at school before during or after assembly and one spontaneous Christmas nativity whilst waiting for one of the 3 kings to return from the toilet the whole school got it and it went along these lines !

What's pink and fluffy....... PINK FLUFF ?
What's blue and spongy...... A BLUE SPONGE ?
What's brown and pointy...... A TWIG ?

What's Pink and hard 😳........ A pig with a flick knife ?

Obviously you have to be there...... but when 20 mums are thinking one thing and a 5 year old says that the look of relief is priceless

😂
 
Pink and hard. Those were the days..
 

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