I've had enough of treading on eggshells entirely and avoiding the subject as I have been for the past nine months or so - I think it is time to post my fictitious experience of - at the time unbeknown to me - the infamous Joan/Johan
So for the purposes of this story, and any comments made by members of the forum.
Garage in question - Lancashire Modern Porsche
Garage owner- Joan/Johan
Garage assistant- Sarah
Mechanic- Steve
I am going to first recognise some of my failings within this dispute:
I have taken a seemingly well established, successful business at face value and haven't done myself any due diligence. This includes, but is not limited to: checking the car over thoroughly; taking my own DVLA documentation; buying a car like this at a young age when really I should have bought bricks and mortar; and most importantly, handing my cash over to such a practiced conman in the first place. I was very naive going into the whole thing, it was my first used car purchase and my second car in general - a very stressful and expensive lesson.
I will set the scene, a lovely April Saturday afternoon, I've just landed a new job locally after two years of slogging up and down the A1 to Scotland and back each week: I am going to treat myself to my dream car, albeit just an older model. I do a quick search to a garage I know through my cycling connections, Lancashire Modern Porsche. I've met the bloke (Joan/Johan) a few years prior as a 17 year old lad with a couple mates on the way back from a cycling trip. Seems decent enough, and as fellow a cyclist, has a bit of banter regarding the sport, invites us for a coffee inside and discusses a potential deal with my friend (he was one of the lucky ones to not strike a deal). I reminisce back to this and I am set - A lovely looking 987 Cayman, 60 odd thousand miles and in my budget. All I have to consider is my current car, a 2016 VW Polo, and how this will form part of any potential deal.
Test drive done. Deposit paid. A f*ck up from my Insurance company insuring me on a 'Volkswagen Cayman' somehow, issues with my financial situation having just started a new job with limited proof of salary and Part exchange settlement now all behind me.
Note:
I do concede up to this point I had messed them about as it was my no means a smooth purchase, and I can only thank them for their patience up to that point.
Now to pick the car up...
Day of pick up, Joan/Johan is on holiday, I do a check to see if the MOT was sorted, as up to this date it hadn't been. Nope, no MOT. I had just assumed that was part of the 'promise' mentioned on their website. I inform Sarah and she manages to book the car in with somebody in Kippax. It passed. Brill. I pick the Car up, I ask to see the service stamp that had been promised. None existent. Instead I was promised that the car had undergone an extensive preparation prior to sale, but the reason it hasn't been 'swissvax detailed' is due to the valet having appendicitis. She invites me back to have it externally prepped at a later date - fair enough I suppose during the ecstasy of purchasing my car. This is probably as pleasurable as my experience got.
I notice the handling to the car is a bit jittery, perhaps it is through my inexperience of driving high power, rear engine cars. I note a time driving back from Hull, there had been an obscene hail storm and the remnants of the storm were piled quite high in the middle and sides of each lane, as I approached the roundabout, and the pile reduced due to people moving throughout the lanes, I attempted to change lanes and it was as if that car had literally no control what so ever. I again put this down to inexperience.
Day 11 of ownership, and approx 1100 miles of motorway commuting to Grimsby and back for work. A bad rain storm comes along and a lot of standing water is around on the M18, I am literally limited to 30MPH on the motorway as the car is uncontrollable. I get home and check the tyres on the outside third of the tread, and as I am driving to Cambridge that same day, decide on the side of caution, to change the front tyres. I ring round and the only garage not too far outside of my route is a Kwik-fit.
See attached photos: That is the condition of the tyres after 1100 miles. I was shocked. How could I have missed this? But more importantly, how could it have passed an MOT? I have a bit of a barney with Joan/Johan over the phone, and I am accused of donuting the car (the damage is to the front tyres by the way so there's no logic in his hypothesis) - he wasn't too pleased that his mechanic agreed with my position that there was no way in hell that level of damage happened in 1100 miles from an alleged '8mm of tread". I demand a full health check is done the following week. He agrees but asks me what are we going to do about the car I part exchanged, which has magically developed a faulty gearbox and is going to cost £4000 to replace...
I speak to a helpful chap, David, at a garage in Knaresborough. RPM specialist cars. I ask for a health check to be done first thing Saturday morning, before I go and head over to 'Lancashire Modern Porsche'. They agree. A list of faults as long as my arm. Most of them very minor. I head to the next garage where I am greeted by Steve their mechanic. He somehow 'misses' the coolant leak due to corrosion. And the very serious corrosion to the full length brake pipe, as well as all the other issues too. He actually tells me it's an almost perfect example! I point the main issues I know about to him just so I can go and see Joan/Johan in person having had his mechanic note the faults.
We chat, have a coffee. I drop the bombshell that I got a check done prior to seeing his mechanic. All of the sudden, the VW polo part exchanged comes into question.
'Come on Brad, I am taking you out in the Polo so you can see how bad the car is"
'No Joan, I have come to resolve issues with my car, that is your car now and I have no interest in it"
'You're speaking to me like a Twat, I run a multimillion pound business... blah blah blah"
I think you get the jist of how that conversation went. Anyway, he agrees to replace the coolant pipes and the brake line.
I begin to get concerned about the fact the 2nd May has well gone, which is the date that the settlement figure expired on the VW Polo, and the finance still hasn't been paid off. As per the deal. I was promised this would be done when Joan/Johan returned from holiday. At this stage, benefit of the doubt in my mind, perhaps he was just busy. I call him to ask why it hasn't been paid. I receive a torrent of abuse in regards to the condition of the car. He exclaims that the best way to resolve the matter is for me to 'take back the car, go to 'we buy any car' sold as seen, walk away with the cash same day". Obviously I refuse. I even offer to buy him a second hand gear box I found for £300 just to get him to pay off the finance agreement, his response? 'Who is going to fit it?"
This is where the story gets a bit mental...
A month or two goes by, a few emails, no conclusion. I finally speak to a lawyer and he advises me to send a letter, signed for, stating that I am perusing legal action. That same week, I am away with my girlfriend and on the way back from our stay, we decide to stop an extra night in Harrogate. Now at this stage I may have been losing my marbles over the matter, but as we sit down for dinner, I am certain that Joan/Johan is in the restaurant too. As me and my girlfriend move over to the bar, I receive a phone call from my mother stating that the police would like to speak to me in regards to a RTA. The VW Polo had been found crashed and abandoned at the side of the A64.
I write an email immediately the next day. Here's the trail:
'Joan,
Further to this email and the letter sent and signed for at the premises of 'Lancashire Modern Porsche', I would just like to query why the VW Polo in question was found abandoned and crashed on the A64 on Saturday evening by the Police?
Please note, my legal advisor is now cc'd into correspondence.
Regards,"
'Good Afternoon,
The vehicle was being driven to our York Branch to repair the fault on the gearbox, that has always been an issue since it came into our procession. As Craig was driving the gearbox popped out of fifth, and caused a distraction, which unfortunately resulted in an accident, luckily there wasn't much traffic and no one was hurt.
Regards,
Joan"
I need to add that, Craig was driving the car on a Saturday night, and the crash was reported at 9am by a member of the public... yes I agree, thankfully nobody was hurt. But the cause of the crash? Wow.
Now, a few months pass and no interest from the police, Joan/Johan seems interested in having a settlement figure, but doesn't want to pay the difference, at this stage around £1600 extra that I have forked out whilst the finance has continued on a now written off vehicle... still Joan/Johan has not admitted that he will pay the difference, or even at all as he wants the settlement figure for Insurance purposes.
It's now 9 months since I purchased and part exchanged cars, It's coming to the end of the VW Polo's 4 year PCP. I have continued to make the payments and now have the option to continue 'ownership' of the car I don't have, or hand the car back which doesn't exist anymore. His refusal to pay, or confirm he is going to pay the full amount, could lead to a pretty significant loss on my behalf. Not ideal really. We are continuing to pursue the losses at the moment, so there are a few more things I haven't included at this stage, and most likely a lot more to come.
I would like to Thank the mechanic, as he is actually a sound enough guy and has been helpful since.
And RPM in knaresborough as they have been nothing but brilliant and I couldn't recommend them highly enough.
But this is entirely fictitious anyway so what does it matter?
So for the purposes of this story, and any comments made by members of the forum.
Garage in question - Lancashire Modern Porsche
Garage owner- Joan/Johan
Garage assistant- Sarah
Mechanic- Steve
I am going to first recognise some of my failings within this dispute:
I have taken a seemingly well established, successful business at face value and haven't done myself any due diligence. This includes, but is not limited to: checking the car over thoroughly; taking my own DVLA documentation; buying a car like this at a young age when really I should have bought bricks and mortar; and most importantly, handing my cash over to such a practiced conman in the first place. I was very naive going into the whole thing, it was my first used car purchase and my second car in general - a very stressful and expensive lesson.
I will set the scene, a lovely April Saturday afternoon, I've just landed a new job locally after two years of slogging up and down the A1 to Scotland and back each week: I am going to treat myself to my dream car, albeit just an older model. I do a quick search to a garage I know through my cycling connections, Lancashire Modern Porsche. I've met the bloke (Joan/Johan) a few years prior as a 17 year old lad with a couple mates on the way back from a cycling trip. Seems decent enough, and as fellow a cyclist, has a bit of banter regarding the sport, invites us for a coffee inside and discusses a potential deal with my friend (he was one of the lucky ones to not strike a deal). I reminisce back to this and I am set - A lovely looking 987 Cayman, 60 odd thousand miles and in my budget. All I have to consider is my current car, a 2016 VW Polo, and how this will form part of any potential deal.
Test drive done. Deposit paid. A f*ck up from my Insurance company insuring me on a 'Volkswagen Cayman' somehow, issues with my financial situation having just started a new job with limited proof of salary and Part exchange settlement now all behind me.
Note:
I do concede up to this point I had messed them about as it was my no means a smooth purchase, and I can only thank them for their patience up to that point.
Now to pick the car up...
Day of pick up, Joan/Johan is on holiday, I do a check to see if the MOT was sorted, as up to this date it hadn't been. Nope, no MOT. I had just assumed that was part of the 'promise' mentioned on their website. I inform Sarah and she manages to book the car in with somebody in Kippax. It passed. Brill. I pick the Car up, I ask to see the service stamp that had been promised. None existent. Instead I was promised that the car had undergone an extensive preparation prior to sale, but the reason it hasn't been 'swissvax detailed' is due to the valet having appendicitis. She invites me back to have it externally prepped at a later date - fair enough I suppose during the ecstasy of purchasing my car. This is probably as pleasurable as my experience got.
I notice the handling to the car is a bit jittery, perhaps it is through my inexperience of driving high power, rear engine cars. I note a time driving back from Hull, there had been an obscene hail storm and the remnants of the storm were piled quite high in the middle and sides of each lane, as I approached the roundabout, and the pile reduced due to people moving throughout the lanes, I attempted to change lanes and it was as if that car had literally no control what so ever. I again put this down to inexperience.
Day 11 of ownership, and approx 1100 miles of motorway commuting to Grimsby and back for work. A bad rain storm comes along and a lot of standing water is around on the M18, I am literally limited to 30MPH on the motorway as the car is uncontrollable. I get home and check the tyres on the outside third of the tread, and as I am driving to Cambridge that same day, decide on the side of caution, to change the front tyres. I ring round and the only garage not too far outside of my route is a Kwik-fit.
See attached photos: That is the condition of the tyres after 1100 miles. I was shocked. How could I have missed this? But more importantly, how could it have passed an MOT? I have a bit of a barney with Joan/Johan over the phone, and I am accused of donuting the car (the damage is to the front tyres by the way so there's no logic in his hypothesis) - he wasn't too pleased that his mechanic agreed with my position that there was no way in hell that level of damage happened in 1100 miles from an alleged '8mm of tread". I demand a full health check is done the following week. He agrees but asks me what are we going to do about the car I part exchanged, which has magically developed a faulty gearbox and is going to cost £4000 to replace...
I speak to a helpful chap, David, at a garage in Knaresborough. RPM specialist cars. I ask for a health check to be done first thing Saturday morning, before I go and head over to 'Lancashire Modern Porsche'. They agree. A list of faults as long as my arm. Most of them very minor. I head to the next garage where I am greeted by Steve their mechanic. He somehow 'misses' the coolant leak due to corrosion. And the very serious corrosion to the full length brake pipe, as well as all the other issues too. He actually tells me it's an almost perfect example! I point the main issues I know about to him just so I can go and see Joan/Johan in person having had his mechanic note the faults.
We chat, have a coffee. I drop the bombshell that I got a check done prior to seeing his mechanic. All of the sudden, the VW polo part exchanged comes into question.
'Come on Brad, I am taking you out in the Polo so you can see how bad the car is"
'No Joan, I have come to resolve issues with my car, that is your car now and I have no interest in it"
'You're speaking to me like a Twat, I run a multimillion pound business... blah blah blah"
I think you get the jist of how that conversation went. Anyway, he agrees to replace the coolant pipes and the brake line.
I begin to get concerned about the fact the 2nd May has well gone, which is the date that the settlement figure expired on the VW Polo, and the finance still hasn't been paid off. As per the deal. I was promised this would be done when Joan/Johan returned from holiday. At this stage, benefit of the doubt in my mind, perhaps he was just busy. I call him to ask why it hasn't been paid. I receive a torrent of abuse in regards to the condition of the car. He exclaims that the best way to resolve the matter is for me to 'take back the car, go to 'we buy any car' sold as seen, walk away with the cash same day". Obviously I refuse. I even offer to buy him a second hand gear box I found for £300 just to get him to pay off the finance agreement, his response? 'Who is going to fit it?"
This is where the story gets a bit mental...
A month or two goes by, a few emails, no conclusion. I finally speak to a lawyer and he advises me to send a letter, signed for, stating that I am perusing legal action. That same week, I am away with my girlfriend and on the way back from our stay, we decide to stop an extra night in Harrogate. Now at this stage I may have been losing my marbles over the matter, but as we sit down for dinner, I am certain that Joan/Johan is in the restaurant too. As me and my girlfriend move over to the bar, I receive a phone call from my mother stating that the police would like to speak to me in regards to a RTA. The VW Polo had been found crashed and abandoned at the side of the A64.
I write an email immediately the next day. Here's the trail:
'Joan,
Further to this email and the letter sent and signed for at the premises of 'Lancashire Modern Porsche', I would just like to query why the VW Polo in question was found abandoned and crashed on the A64 on Saturday evening by the Police?
Please note, my legal advisor is now cc'd into correspondence.
Regards,"
'Good Afternoon,
The vehicle was being driven to our York Branch to repair the fault on the gearbox, that has always been an issue since it came into our procession. As Craig was driving the gearbox popped out of fifth, and caused a distraction, which unfortunately resulted in an accident, luckily there wasn't much traffic and no one was hurt.
Regards,
Joan"
I need to add that, Craig was driving the car on a Saturday night, and the crash was reported at 9am by a member of the public... yes I agree, thankfully nobody was hurt. But the cause of the crash? Wow.
Now, a few months pass and no interest from the police, Joan/Johan seems interested in having a settlement figure, but doesn't want to pay the difference, at this stage around £1600 extra that I have forked out whilst the finance has continued on a now written off vehicle... still Joan/Johan has not admitted that he will pay the difference, or even at all as he wants the settlement figure for Insurance purposes.
It's now 9 months since I purchased and part exchanged cars, It's coming to the end of the VW Polo's 4 year PCP. I have continued to make the payments and now have the option to continue 'ownership' of the car I don't have, or hand the car back which doesn't exist anymore. His refusal to pay, or confirm he is going to pay the full amount, could lead to a pretty significant loss on my behalf. Not ideal really. We are continuing to pursue the losses at the moment, so there are a few more things I haven't included at this stage, and most likely a lot more to come.
I would like to Thank the mechanic, as he is actually a sound enough guy and has been helpful since.
And RPM in knaresborough as they have been nothing but brilliant and I couldn't recommend them highly enough.
But this is entirely fictitious anyway so what does it matter?
? 
